If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough!
OK. This is kind of a huge step for me. I have finally decided to stop running scared, you know from that dream that is so big it sometimes feels as though it is your worst nightmare.
For around 2 years now I have allowed excuse after excuse to prevent me from actually taking action and going after what I want, most likely as a result of lack of confidence and laziness. The other day, Chris casually asked me about it and I kind of flipped a little and, even to my own surprise, blurted out ‘stop pushing it because I dont want to do it‘. What a big.fat. L I E. Thankfully, I realised that this was complete BS. When I watch my ‘role models’ I am sitting there with fire in my stomach just wishing that was me on the stage, there is just no denying that I want this. It quickly became clear that I had reached that point. The point where if I didn’t take action, I was going to be the brick wall standing between myself and my dreams. So it was decided, I will not longer let a dream remain but a dream nor an opportunity pass me by for no good reason. Better to look back with an ‘at least I tried’ than a ‘oh I wish I had tried’ right?
After a couple of days of mulling it over and making sure that I wasnt just on a mini-power trip, I decided to tell Chris I was going for it and to be honest, that just intensified the fire in my stomache. I am going for it! I am actually going for it!
Well, it’s only fair that I let you in on what that dream is, especially because I want to share the journey with you so, here it is:
“I have a dream that I will enter into a bikini competition, actually to be more specific, I have a dream that I will walk the Olympia stage as a bikini competitor.”
I did say it was a big one!
As it stands, my knowledge of bikini competitions, what it takes, and what is involved is well, limited. Of course, I understand that it is going to take a level of hard work and dedication that I can’t say I have ever had to demand of myself but I am so excited to get going with this that, for the moment at least, it doesn’t seem like too daunting of a task (watch this space though hey!)
I think it is in my favour that I have done a number of beauty pageants in the past so I actually have some experience of getting on stage and being judged, particuarly during the swim wear rounds. In fact, looking back it’s kind of funny to remember that the swimwear round actually used to be my favorite round. Strange to think I was more body confident back then as a ‘skinny fat’ model than now after having 2 years of working on my body shape. I guess it is just due to the fact that I have changed the way I look at my body and how I expect it to perform.
In all seriousness though, I haven’t a clue where to start.
Obviously there are a few things that have initially crossed my mind like; I am considering enlisting the help of a coach.
Chris, my boyfriend and trainer, is fabulous and while I have every faith in Chris to physically get me stage ready, I think I’m going to need those girl power vibes coming from someone who has been in the position of competing to help build my confidence and prepare me mentally. Team work makes the dream work though right!
Not only that, there is the whole ‘posing’ side of things. Whilst it might be hilarious to imagine Chris strutting around in a bikini teaching me all the poses something tells me the reality will be quite the opposite!
Another big concern, and probably the biggest reason I have held off seriously going for competition is the whole eating side of things. First of all, I am vegetarian which makes things even more difficult because so far all I find is meat based plans or people trying to get me to eat meat which is super annoying. Aside from that though, I am a terrible cook and my meals are very basic. Plus, I eat way to much junk food – I’ve got a sweet tooth what can I say. Plus, giving up pizza and cereal – is that even possible? (thats a serious question, if you’ve done it, seriously let me know how you managed it!)
The more I think on the matter, the more questions pop into my mind. This journey is going to be more than physical, I am going to have to completely educate myself because, no body wants to be the girl everyone is laughing at on stage. Cruel, I know. It happens though.
Obviously, my ENTIRE journey will be published here and if anybody has any helpful tips or an experience they would like to share, PLEASE DO in the comments section.
Right now, the focus is on understanding the competition and the different federations in order for me to appropriately prepare. Nutrition is also going to play a huge part so there is no time like the present to start eating foods that fuel my body and hold more of a nutritional value. I believe this is going to be my biggest hurdle.
Such exciting times are ahead!